"if you kill all my demons, my angels might die too"

h, there are two sides of my mind. one of those sides sees clearly and lead me the way. it's like a sweet symphony and the way ahead its quite clear, like when you see the horizon on a dry and mild sunset.
the other side is not as clear
i remember the first day i've noticed that... i was looking at my mother washing some white shirts at the sun. the terrace was all white, and the sun was autumn pale
my mother looked happy and she was singing, she was focused on the movements of her arms and she was thinking about something... i could tell.
i also started to look at her arms, shaping the white shirt into so many different forms until she finally placed the shirt, as a plain white form, drying at the sun
she then looked at me and noticed i was thinking about what she was thinking about. she told me not to think that over, and she spoke, as always, with a wise and calm tone, and her words were my way to do, and then i stoped
it was so easy to disconnect... i just needed to be told to do it, and i switched off
but that day i keep on thinking, and i went deep into that tough. what could my mother be thinking? i was, for the first time, on a mental free ride and i discovered that, when i started thinking after being told not to do it, it was not that clear anymore
a mental free ride is always a lonely one, you can't take anyone with you, not even your mother

b, it looks that this ride of yours is getting free, and i can see a crowd in your mind
if you don't mind let's stop 5 minutes... my head is struggling for some emptyness